Why these rules?

Editorial Staff

I’m about to prepare for Confirmation. I have been waiting for this day for a long time to live it with my family and with my dearest aunt, whom I have always chosen as godmother. Instead nothing! The parish priest said she can’t be a godmother because she is divorced and lives with a man who is also divorced. I felt terrible about it. And my aunt was very upset about it too. My parents tried to insist, but there was nothing to be done. The priest says there’s a law. But why? My aunt is a very good woman, she loves me very much and I love her as much… I’m sure my friends’ non-divorced godmothers aren’t as good as she is.

Isabel

My dear friend, I don’t think the vicar said your aunt wasn’t a good person. She simply told you that because of her marital situation, she can’t be a godmother at your confirmation. To give you an example, it’s as if you chose a coach for volleyball training who, at least at this moment, can’t show you how to use the ball because he has a problem with his movements. Your dear aunt, for reasons that are entirely respectable, is in a situation that contrasts with what the Church provides for Christians who celebrated marriage as a sacrament that remains indissoluble. For this reason, she cannot be near you as a guarantor, a witness and even an incitement to behave as you profess before receiving the sacrament of Confirmation. That being said, your aunt can be present at the celebration, as well as she can be a point of reference for you in many aspects of life. To be near you as “godmother” you could choose a person like your catechist who ensures for you a specific and clear presence for your journey of faith in a concrete community which is the Church. Each community also has its own “rules of the game” without which it’s difficult to share a project. This certainly doesn’t mean that there are no defects and limitations in the Church too. All I can do is wish you a good preparation for your confirmation.